When it comes to wedding speeches, I’ve been on both sides of the mic. I’ve delivered two best man speeches and my own groom speech, and I’ve also sat in the audience for more weddings than I can count. Speeches don’t come naturally to me, so I know how nerve-wracking they can be. But through my experience, I have an idea of what makes a good speech and what mistakes to avoid.
Here’s my take on the good, the bad, and the downright ugly of wedding speeches.
The Good
If you’re naturally confident and have the “gift of the gab,” you’re probably already on track to nail your speech. We’ve all seen those effortless speakers who captivate the room, whether it’s a confident friend or someone going viral on TikTok.
Tips for a Great Wedding Speech:
- Start strong: If you’re the groom, the classic opener “On behalf of my wife and I…” is a winner. You get an instant cheer from your guests to get you going.
- Get a laugh in early: A quick joke or funny story at the beginning works wonders. It relaxes you and sets the tone for a good speech.
- Thank the right people: Keep it personal—mention your partner, the bridal party, and those who genuinely helped with the day. Try to avoid generic nods like thanking the staff (they’re paid to be there), as it can come across as insincere.
- Compliments are key: Don’t forget to say how stunning your bride, bridesmaids, or other half looks. It’s a crowd-pleaser every time.
- Be authentic: Keep it personal and avoid relying on generic quotes or overused internet one-liners.
My Groom Speech Experience
Surprisingly, I found my groom speech easier than my best man speeches. The reason? Preparation. I spent months practising, reciting it during my commute until I could say it word for word. Once I got the first laugh, my nerves vanished, and the rest flowed naturally.
If you’re worried about your speech, my best advice is to structure it well, keep it concise, and get that laugh in early. Unlike presenting at work or school, the audience at a wedding is on your side. They want you to do well.
The Bad
I’ve been to plenty of weddings, and not all speeches are smooth sailing. Now in my early 30s, with most of my friends now married, I’ve witnessed a fair share of awkward moments that could have been avoided with a bit of foresight.
- "I’ll just wing it": Confidence is great, but overconfidence? Not so much. I once saw a groom attempt to improvise his speech, thinking he could wing it. Without structure or preparation, it quickly became an awkward series of pauses and filler words. Lesson learned: always plan ahead.
- Drunk speakers: A drunken best man speech can quickly go from funny to cringeworthy. At one wedding, the best man rambled for 40 painful minutes, completely losing the audience. Keep the drinks minimal and remember you are not a stand up comic, by all means throw in some jokes but don't go on for too long!
The Ugly
Now, for the speeches that make you want to crawl under the nearest table. These are the moments no one wants to relive but are worth sharing so you can avoid making the same mistakes.
- A best man once shared how the groom had fired him from a job—thinking it would get a laugh. It didn’t. The silence was deafening.
- Another best man decided it would be hilarious to distribute naked baby photos of the groom to every table. Unsurprisingly, this didn’t go down well.
- At one wedding, the groom awkwardly asked his boss (who was a guest) for a pay rise during the speech. Needless to say, it didn’t land.
The takeaway? Avoid anything overly personal, inappropriate, or cringe-inducing. A good speech is about celebrating the couple, not settling scores or embarrassing anyone.
Delivering a wedding speech is a big moment, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. With preparation, a solid structure, and a touch of humour, you’ll have the crowd on your side. Remember, your audience wants you to do well, so embrace the moment, and enjoy the experience.
And whatever you do, don’t be that guy. Plan ahead, aim for laughs, and keep it heartfelt. You’ve got this.
